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WEEKLY COMMENTARY....
March 1, 2001
JAPW
Hey Ref-a-holics. Coming off my last commentary on PUDGEY PUDGE THE FAT BASTARD,
I have tons of crap to talk about now. First off, I would like to welcome the 
JAPW trashiacs to this commentary....woops, pardon...MANIACS to this commentary.
First I would like to send a threat to Foo-Foo. I understand he will be there
both nights, March 23rd and March 24th, but unfortunately for the Whole Reffin
Crowd (my super fans), their hero Ref Hanson will be recording his new album
entitled, "It's hard to be a lady's ref" on Friday night the 23rd. So
it looks like Foo-Foo and Tazz-a-han or Can-a-ham or Ass-a-spam...or whatever
the hell he calls that fat prick!.....will have a little more time to wait for
their execution. Cuz ya see, come March 24th, both of them will get the
"Ref Hanson Experience"...I earned my stripes! And I will earn my
respect from you 2 little fartknockers!!! Ahem, also, I would like to be the
first one to welcome both The Briscoe Brothers and Afa Jr. to JAPW. Now boys I
understand you are great wrestlers and have an agenda here......but I am
the law and order in these parts. I catch ya breakin' this sherrif's
rules....and there is gonna be trouble! Lots of it! Well, not really, but,
just....go by the rules.
ECPW
Well well well, Kleeber Hebner. Again you have caused a problem with my
refereein'. Once again you stuck your nose where it didn't belong, once again
you are pushin' your weight around. For those of you who don't know, I was
refereein' the ECPW Heavyweight title match between Ace Darling and Judas Young-
Judas was in control of the match when his band of hooligans, Tiger Mulligan,
Tommy 2 Cutie, and Foxy, got involved. When Tiger Mulligan stepped his booty up
on the apron, I went over to get him down on the floor where he belongs. At this
very second, Judas has Ace pinned. Judas gets up, spins me around, and is givin'
me the business on why I aint countin the three for him....Pffft, well....sorry
I am tryin to help you out Judas by getting Tiger down. Anyway, Tommy is
standing behind Judas and throws a cloud of salt at Judas...Judas ducks.....and
the salt blinds me, I go down like a white house intern on Clinton. Judas knocks
Tommy out of the ring. Tiger goes to slam Judas and Judas, being the great
technician he is, reverses the slam into a pinning combination. I feel Judas'
body, I am still blinded at this point....and feel a body under him......so I
count 1-2-3! A NEW CHAMP RIGHT? WRONG! That little SONOVA BITCH KLEEBER HEBNER
comes out and orders the match to continue! And orders that he be the referee
for the rest of the match. A revived Ace Darling gets up and gives a distracted,
disgruntled Judas a northern-lights suplex, and the little bastard Kleeber
counts a questionably fast 1 2 3! Again, ISPW gets away with highway robbery!
Again Judas Young gets cheated out of the belt. Well, Kleeber, I am
waiting...when are you gonna climb out of
Tommy 2 Cutie's pants and into the
ring?!?! HUH?!?! WHEN? Hey, I dont need nobody, I dont need help! ME AND YOU
MONO-A-SWINE!...........I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU! I AM THE WHOLE REFFIN SHOW! I AM
THE GREATEST REF ON EARTH! YOU????..........................YOU'RE JUST MY
BITCH!
JCW
Now, in JCW news. You'd think I have enough problems dealing with what I already have to deal with. But...NNNNNNO, I am getting an earful over at JCW. Everybody knows that I think the world of Judas Young, I think he is one of the biggest stars in the independents, and that he is one hell of a talent. I respect his work in ECPW, and angry that he is getting screwed by Tommy 2 Cutie and company. But, I can't take the blame for his problems with "Superstar" Dave Grecco. You see, Judas has been chasing after Dave Grecco's light-weight belt for some time now. He has tried time and time again. But time after time he comes up short due to outside interference or Dave "supposedly" grabbing the ropes. Well, Judas.....well, JCW fans, you know I am probably the single greatest referee to ever don the stripes of our favorite animal, the zebra....correct? Yes. Don't you think I would see these things happening? Don't you think I would notice outside interference, and see Dave holding onto the ropes? Huh? My advice....quit cryin' Judas...no offense...but you are simply crying over spilled milk! On March 10th in LODI at the JCW arena.....Judas Young vs. Dave Grecco in a lumberjack match for the Lightweight title. Once and for all, we will see who the true man is. Once and for all, we will see if Grecco has been using these "DIRTY TACTICS" Judas is speaking of. I have a great deal of respect for both men and am lookin forward to reffing such a highly competitive match. Good luck to both men. Also, to all my fans, my ref-a-holics, DONT WORRY I AM FINE...after taking Spike Dudley's "Acid drop"..I was a little dazed, and out of breath, and my jaw was hurtin'. But I still did the right thing and awarded the match to the rightful winner by DQ to Reckless Youth. Oh and uh...nice try, Steve Paridisio....trying to come in and score the 1 2 3 for Spike.....but when rules are broken, punishment must be inforced. And I DQ'ed "the giant killer" for his inability to follow the rules. And yes, after the Hit Squad blatanly broke the rules and hit me with a steel chair over the head because they lost by disqualification to the Moondogs.....I am fine. I couldn't count to 2 for nearly a week after.....but after a great deal of rest and recooperation. I am fine, and will be there the 10th to take polaroids with my fans!!! So, see you at the matches!!!!!
Later, Gators...I'm vapor!
PAST COMMENTARIES:
February 7, 2001
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