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WEEKLY COMMENTARY....
August 27, 2001
JAPW
HEY HEY HEY! Well, JAP has Youth Gone Split! Little Dixie turned his back on the Insane Dragon and acquired the services of The Hit Squad on the 24th of August at Charity Hall. Dixie also used the Hit Squad to become victorious in the 20 man battle royal for the NJ state title. It was down to Dixie and dragon, when dragon propelled his older brother over the top rope...but the Hit Squad caught Dixie in the air and put him back in the ring. Well, Dixie has now gone solo and on his first night won the NJ state title. He did lose all of his fans, but doesn't seem to care. The Insane Dragon has informed me that he is out to get his brother back! Look for that to happen soon......After being shocked and defeated for their tag team titles by Mikey Whipwreck.....and....yes, JT Jobber...The Hit Squad came back and regained their gold becoming the now 4 time JAP tag team champions. They are without a doubt the most dominant team in JAP history and are hotter than ever now. Who will knock them off the top? The Moondogs 2000 gave them a run for their money at Viking Hall back on the 18th but came up short. Low Ki lost both the lightweight and heavyweight titles at Viking Hall losing the heavyweight title to Homicide and the lightweight title to Xavier. Earlier in the evening Low Ki came out and interrupted a 2 on 1 attack when the Hit Squad attacked Ric Blade and his wife. The Hit Squad weren't to pleased about Low Ki sticking his nose in their business and they almost came to blows right there and then. Low Ki was just being humane....that damn Hit Squad needs to relax. Anywho, during the main event Low Ki was attacked by Mafia after Monsta Mack was distracting me and they cost Low Ki both of his titles......Now the Hit Squad and Homicide are both once again on top of their divisions in JAP....they are nearly unstoppable when together and someone needs to stop them! or we could all be in trouble!!! Kid Kruel made his JAP debut in impressive fashion by defeating O DOgg, and when can get a win over a guy like O Dogg in your debut match that is definitely something to brag about. Kid Kruel also defeated Supreme Lee Great in Bayonne on the 24th continuing to impress. Let me tell you something about Kid Kruel, I have seen him wrestle Little Guido, Balls Mahoney, Big Vito and countless others....he is a damn good competitor, he is well schooled in the amateur art of wrestling. He is a second generation wrestler and has the right attitude for success. I am picking Kid Kruel as my JAP dark horse for the year 2002, I guarantee he wears the gold sooner than later.
FAVORITE DESSERT
Chocolate Decadence at Applebee's. It is tasty.
CWF
Well we have a new CWF heavyweight champion....his name is Flesheater Kuvatro. Kuvatro and Johnny Thundar were the last 2 men in a battle royal to determine a new champion. They battled in a one on one contest which saw interference from the 2nd flesheater and a victory for Kuvatro. An outraged Thundar screamed at me and nailed me with a superkick that knocked me silly. What a dam sore loser! Anywho Judas Young and Tiger Mulligan recently had a match in Wayne for CWF that was one of the best matches I have seen this year. Any one of these guys could challenge Kuvatro for the CWF title or Ryan Wing for the lighweight title and take it form em like that. And also in Wayne there was an 4 team tag match that was one of the most unususal matche sI have ever reffed featuring Mikey Whipwreck/Chris Chetti vs. the FBI vs. Danny Doring and the angry Amish chicken plucker Roadkill vs. Kuvatro and It. Basketballs.....gabage cans, volleyballs, beer, poland spring water bottles everywhere......you name it, it was there....Mikey and Chetti were victorious before Mikey whippersnappered every single participant in the match......including myself! JERK!
DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?
Before I go...I got something to get off of my chest. I want to know why "Dude, Where's my Car" hasn't been nominated for an Oscar...BEST PICTURE! That movie kept me on the edge of my seat from start to finish. I didn't even get out of my seat to get any popcorn....people were yelling at me to shut up because I was laughing so hard........In closing this brief editorial all I have to say is "DUDE WHERE'S MY ACADEMY AWARD!" And when is there going to be a sequel??? I got 5 ideas for a sequel....here goes:
1. "Dude, I still
can't find my car"
2. "Dude, I found the car now where's the keys"
3. "Dude, I got a ticket for speeding"
4. "Dude, what does my car's tatoo say?"
5. "Dude, that Ref Hanson is really somethin', huh?"
Ahem, Hollywood....I can act too...I CAN!
Later, Gators...I'm vapor!
PAST COMMENTARIES:
July 24, 2001
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